Monday, October 19, 2009

Today's the first day!

Hello -

I've been thinking about starting a blog for awhile now. I'm in graduate school, married, struggling with a few medical issues, and trying to figure out the meaning of life. Well, not the actual meaning, but I'm trying to prioritize what I want to be doing right now and what I need to be doing right now. I'm off of work on short term disability and really don't want to go back. That's not entirely my choice; my MD has a bigger say than I do. I'm dealing with chronic depression: I'm not suicidal or anything, but it just seems that no matter what I do, I feel "gray." Nothing really has any color anymore and hasn't for some time. I've been off of work since 07-28-09 and was doing better in August when I was going to a local hospital for daily outpatient therapy and skill building, etc. It's a great program but now that I've got all of this unstructured time, I'm slipping. I was getting up at 8am to be at the hospital by 9:30am and today I got up at 9:30am. I'm compliant with all of my medications and get tasks done around the house (including all of the homework I have to complete) but I don't feel any "umph." Sometimes I feel that if I just slipped away no one would notice. Of course I know my family and friends would notice - not to mention my dog Peanut whom I adore and who adores me right back. (Check out his photo on my blog site.) PMS doesn't help matters any. I would kill for a good referral for a hysterectomy. I don't have any kids and have never wanted any so take my uterus please!! My husband doesn't believe me when I tell him any OBGYN worth his/her reputation won't take out perfectly good organs; he thinks because we have insurance and this is what I want, the doctor should do it. He's naive that way.

So today is installment one. Since I have the time, I might as well put my thoughts down in cyber space for all of humankind to read.



  1. Krissy, you have always been one of the smartest women I know.It saddens me to hear you are afflicted with this terrible medical condition.I wish there was a miracle cure for people with depression-imagine what a wonderful world it would be. Check out some light therapy for the winter if you haven't allready. It works very well for me.If you ever need to talk to someone-I am here for you.We haven't talked in a long time,but every day can be a new day.Tiff

  2. Hang in there Krissy. Keep trying stuff until you get relief. I've been having some good luck with my current shrink, getting relief from my own issues. Sometimes changing docs can help. Remember that you have friends and family and peanut. Life can be good, even though sometimes, especially with chronic depression, it doesn't seem that way. Hang in there and keep blogging.