In a matter of hours another year will come to a close. Technically, every minute of every day can mark the end of one year and the start of the next, but a good chunk of the world celebrates the end of the Gregorian calendar year on December 31 and the start of a new one on January 1.
Last year for Christmas Mark gave me a daily calendar titled "Change Your Fortune" and through the 365 days of 2022, I tore off and saved the daily messages that meant something to me. I saved a total of 97 pages. Roughly, that is one saved message for every 3-ish messages. Tonight I gathered all 97 and randomly chose 4. I chose them from the back blank side, so as I type this I have no idea what I chose. So, I'll turn them over, one by one, and document why I saved this message.
1. Monday, December 12, 2022: Stop viewing yourself in terms of others. Ouch. Well, no point in dipping my toe in the emotional, self-disclosure pool. I'm jumping right in! I am a Taurus and carry the trait of generosity which that sign affords. I am also a desperate people-pleaser. If you're not happy/pleased/satisfied, there has to be something I can do to fix it and make sure you're happy/pleased/satisfied. If I can't, then I have failed. This is my constant inner-dialogue. How you feel about me is how I feel about myself. If you're disappointed, I'm disappointed. If the gift I give isn't wrapped to perfection, not only have I failed, but I am a failure. I make progress on overcoming this mindset, take a few steps back, then move forward again.
2. Tuesday, July 26, 2022: When you find yourself with 5 spare minutes, don't reach for your phone. HA HA! I refused to have a cell phone for many years until I required one for work sometime around mid-2017. My reasons for not having a cell phone revolved around my need for personal, unreachable time. I called cell phones "leashes" that I didn't need to be connected to, 24/7. I never had kids who needed to reach me for an emergency. I reasoned that I had an answering machine at home and voicemail at work, a home and a work email address, so if someone needed to reach me for an emergency, I would have access to one of these ways to contact me within a reasonable amount of time after said emergency. What I didn't realize is all of the other cool stuff cell phones can do. I've had a personal cell phone since early June 2019 because when I left my job that required and provided a cell phone, I missed it. I missed checking Facebook while in the drive-thru line at McDonalds. I missed checking my emails in between clients when I started working for Veterans Assistance Foundation. So I bought my own iPhone because that's what I was used to using and now check my text messages, emails, local news app, Messenger, and voicemails throughout the course of any day. Now, I'm hooked. And I freely admit it.
3. Thursday, December 1, 2022: Don't edit or judge while you are creating. Just create. The time for evaluation will come. I saved this one as part of my developing writing regimen. I'm trying to become more disciplined in my writing habits and this includes turning off my internal editor and just letting whatever needs to come out, come out. There will be time later for my internal editor to critique it, but that time isn't while I'm trying to create.
4. Wednesday, March 2, 2022: Don't allow yourself to exist strictly on paper. I struggle with this because part of me is desperate to exist on paper, as long as that paper is published, preferably with a photograph. However, I know I am so much more dimensional than existing on a one-dimensional sheet of paper. I am loud, opinionated, thoughtful, accessible, peaceful, willing, expansive, open, and determined. That creates a multi-dimensional being. If you think you know me, but don't know that about me, then you don't know me. I will be the first to acknowledge that I'm an enormous contradiction, but that makes me particular and not unquestionable. I am not a predictable assumption. If you think you know me, and know that about me, then you know me.
I will close with some versus not as popular as the first verse of Auld Lange Syne, because, my old friends, these verses have reflected the last year and likely years to come, but we will always take a cup of kindness and raise a drink to reminiscing as only old friends can do.
