I downloaded one of those inspirational posts from Facebook, "Always love your father, understand his effort and sacrifices."
Father-daughter relationships can be complicated. (As if mother-daughter relationships are not). Around the year 2000 I remember having a brief conversation with my sister about which one of us had the "better" relationship with our dad. She thought I had more in common with him and of course, I thought she had more in common with him. Our examples to justify our opinions were quite thin. It wasn't until Dad retired in 2015-ish, right now I can't remember the exact year, that I really started to slowly, sometimes painfully, sometimes surprisingly, got to know my father better than I had before. I still have many unanswered questions that I recently hinted that I'd like to get answers to, but in typical German, stoic Rog fashion, he passed over the comment in a text to him as if it was never there.
I have my dad's photo album from his time in Vietnam. (See my Facebook page for the photos and notes he wrote on the back of them). On 7/4/21 Mark, Apollo, and I spent the afternoon at my parents' house and my dad mentioned that he drove a truck from Eagle Knit in Shawano to Zwicker Knitting Mill in Appleton and back at some point in his life; I'm not sure if he was in high school or college. His mother, my Grandma Porath, worked at Eagle Knit in Shawano and I wonder if this was one of those situations where the company a parent works for hires their kids for work during summers in high school or college like when I worked for the company Dad worked for starting the summer after my sophomore year in high school. This was a piece of my dad's life timeline I knew nothing about.
I'm unable to piece together my dad's life timeline from when he was in high school to when he and Mom bought the house they still live in on Memorial Day weekend 1973. From there I've seen enough pictures and heard enough stories to know that he worked as a full time account at Appleton Memorial Hospital, now Theda Care Appleton, and at night he worked as a cashier at Treasure Island which was on west College Avenue. On the nights he wasn't working there he was attending grad school at UW-Oshkosh and earned his MBA. I have strived to academically match Dad. I was the first woman in my maternal and paternal families to graduate from college. I was also the first woman on either side of my family to earn a Master's Degree. Rog was the first in our family to do both.
I know he left for Vietnam three weeks after I was born, having already completed basic training in the Army. My mom and Grandma Porath went to his graduation from basic (I think) before my parents were married (01/23/71), but I don't know that for sure. His discharge from the Army and return to Shawano is a nightmare story I've shared before; how he hitch hiked from the train station in Green Bay to Shawano during the night because he was harassed while wearing his uniform during the day.
Dad went on an Old Glory Honor Flight for veterans during EAA 2014. He listed me as his contact person and they reached out to me to connect with family, friends, and coworkers, to send cards or write letters that would be distributed to the veterans during "mail call" on the return flight. I likely contacted most of you reading this to send a card or note to him. His plane landed at EAA after a day spent in Washington, D.C. touring monuments and memorials. I've included one of my favorite pictures ever, taken after he landed by my former boss who was there honoring a veteran in his family. After all the "thank you for your service", "or "welcome home" and when the band had stopped playing, Dad told me he had the largest package for "mail call" on the flight. I was proud that with your help, I could make that happen.
Some day I hope to record my father's story. I want to sit down with him, my phone recording our conversation starting with, "So you were born on August 29, 1947 in Wausau. What happened from there?"
Some day I hope to put the pieces of my dad's life timeline together to really understand what he did to achieve all that he has.
Some day I hope that my dad understands how important and influential he's been in my life.
Some day I hope he'll be there for me forever.
Some day, I just hope.
